There are clutch performances in cricket - and then there’s Joe Root saving an entire nation from watching Matthew Hayden run naked around the MCG.
Before the 2025–26 Ashes kicked off, former Aussie opener Matthew Hayden made a bold, cheeky promise on a podcast. If Joe Root didn’t score a hundred during the series, Hayden swore he’d jog around the iconic Melbourne Cricket Ground in his birthday suit. The comment quickly went viral and became one of the most bizarre subplots of the Ashes.
Fans tracked Root’s form with bated breath - not just for England’s hopes, but to save themselves from the most awkward streak in sports history.
Enter Day 1 of the second Test at the Gabba. Root, after multiple fifties down under over the years, finally cracked it. A graceful flick off Scott Boland brought up his long-awaited century in Australia - his first. While England’s camp erupted in joy, no one seemed more relieved than Matthew Hayden himself.
In a video shared by the ECB, Hayden offered his congratulations with typical Aussie humour. “G’day Joe, congrats mate. Took you a while - and there was no one who had more skin in the game than me, literally,” he said with a laugh. The nation exhaled.
Even Hayden’s daughter, Grace, joined the celebrations in her own way. She posted on Instagram, “Root, thank you - you’ve saved all our eyes.” A sentiment probably shared by millions.
This bizarre-but-hilarious episode started when Hayden took issue with Root being left out of an all-time Ashes XI. In protest, he made the now-infamous nude bet, confident that Root would prove the doubters wrong. And prove them wrong he did.
Root’s ton wasn’t just a personal milestone or a statistical win for England. It was a moment of public service - spare the people, save Hayden’s dignity, and avoid an incident that would’ve broken the internet (and possibly a few laws).
In the end, Joe Root didn’t just bat for his country - he batted for all our eyeballs.
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